Juche Eye for the Bourgeois Guy

Humor, Totalitarianism
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Kim Jong-ilKim Jong-il: tinpot dictator, heavy drinker, heir to the world’s most dysfunctional personality cult (only in North Korea could you be second-in-command to a dead guy)…fashion trend-setter?

Uriminzokkiri, quoting an article in communist party newspaper Rodong Sinmun, said the modest-looking suits have gripped people’s imagination and become a global vogue.

“The reason is that the august image of the Great General, who is always wearing the modest suit while working, leaves a deep impression on people’s mind in the world,” it said.

“To sum it up, that is because his image as a great man is so outstanding.”

The article quoted an unidentified French fashion expert as saying world fashion follows Kim Jong-Il’s style.

“Kim Jong-Il mode which is now spreading expeditiously worldwide is something unprecedented in the world’s history,” the stylist was quoted as saying.

Jong-il mode!  I hope it’s nothing like Depeche Mode, ’cause those guys are like so 1987.  But when all you’ve got going for you are the world’s fifth-largest army, near-constant power blackouts, and public executions, I guess you need some accomplishment to distinguish you from other Communist dictators.  (After all, the Castros have cigars, and tobacco doesn’t grow worth spit in the DPRK, along with most other crops.)  So get that fashion juche flowing!

Tips on how you, too, can dress like Dear Leader (don’t forget the lifts).  Juche explained here.

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Age Must Be Catching Up With Paul Volcker

(Austrian) Economics, Democracy, Humor, Vulgar Politics
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There’s no shame in Paul Volcker’s being confused. It’s common for men his age (82) to slip into an afternoon slumber and wake up discombobulated — it can take a little while to reorient. And that’s when the memory is working well; but, let’s face it, an elderly man’s memory isn’t always fully functional. So that’s why I think it’s only fair to cut the Chairman of the President’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board some slack for his comments yesterday when he announced that taxes were likely to rise in order to “tame” the deficit:

The United States should consider raising taxes to help bring deficits under control and may need to consider a European-style value-added tax, White House adviser Paul Volcker said on Tuesday. Volcker, answering a question from the audience at a New York Historical Society event, said the value-added tax “was not as toxic an idea” as it has been in the past and also said a carbon or other energy-related tax may become necessary.

Though he acknowledged that both were still unpopular ideas, he said getting entitlement costs and the U.S. budget deficit under control may require such moves. “If at the end of the day we need to raise taxes, we should raise taxes,” he said.

See, he has to be confused because my memory still works really, really well, and I remember this from the campaign:

Old “joke”: Know how you can tell if a politician is lying?

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The Job Market is Picking Up… Poop

Business, Humor
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Just a job, or metaphor for the economy?

One of the alleged 162,000 jobs created in March can be found in Snohomish, Washington. Although the gig only pays $8.55/hour, it’s a real resume builder. What minimum wage job posted on Craigslist inspired 260 applications from people aged fourteen to sexagenarian? Why, being a kennel helper at Roscoe’s Ranch, owned by Guy Palumbo, of course. The job posting is quite clear in explaining that duties include scooping dog poop. Who is desperate enough to take this job? According to Recession’s untold story, just about everyone:

A laid-off graphic designer applied. So did a freelance photographer. Two out-of-work teachers sent résumés. Remarkably, so did someone in their mid-40s who had worked as a financial controller at an environmental-services company.

“There are a few people in here, such as accountants, who are so overqualified for this job,” Palumbo said. “I know people just want to work but I don’t think it would make much sense for me to hire them.”

The rest of the applicants read like a recession roll call.

There are past customer-service reps from WaMu, AT&T, J.C. Penney and Sprint. A slew of retail clerks and cashiers, as well as out-of-work waiters. The biggest group, by far, is dozens of laborers, construction workers, landscapers and maintenance workers.

This must be one of those mythical “green shoots” I’ve been hearing so much about on CNBC and other establishment media outlets. Maybe if the likes of Larry Kudlow and Bob Shrum pile this manure high enough something will grow out of it — most likely a fungus.

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Nudity Demands Police Intervention

Humor, Nanny Statism, Private Security & Law
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Boston Licensing Board Chairman Daniel Pokaski thinks hotel staff aren’t capable of dealing with nudity in their own establishment and police intervention is necessary. According to the Universal Hub, on March 3 a woman was in the lobby of the Doubletree Hotel on Washington Street, naked from the waist down. “The hotel security guard who found the woman told the board she appeared to be OK, aside from the fact she had no clothes south of her waist and that he figured she was drunk, wanted to avoid further embarrassment and that the other two women seemed to have things under control.”

Seems logical, right? I’ve never been on such a bender where I ended up half-naked in a hotel lobby, but hey, things happen. Nakie lady had two ladies with her who were apparently taking care of the situation. A car was called, nakie lady was taken outside, no more nudity in the place of business. Yet the police should have been called!   …

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We are not amused at your nanny-state prank. Now pull your weeds or ELSE.

Humor, Nanny Statism
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april fool's!Given that Boulder is home to the University of Colorado — a former “top party school” — you’d think April Fool’s pranks would be more common than bong pipes and mountain bikes.  But the city seems less than amused at this inspired stunt that parodied municipal property codes:

Person or persons unknown have created a hoax door hanger declaring that homeowners who don’t remove the dust and insect larvae from their sidewalk cracks by noon tomorrow will receive a fine of up to $4,620.

“This is the only warning that this household will receive this spring!” the door hanger exclaims. “Please be sure your crack stays clean for the rest of the year!”

The “ticket” then goes on to suggest that if homeowners need help they can look up “Crack Removal Services” in the Yellow Pages.

Pretty funny, right?  But city officials were quick to point out that it wasn’t real:

[Boulder spokeswoman Judy Jacobson] knew right away that the door hanger wasn’t legit.

“It’s definitely a joke,” she says. “There’s no such code as the one it references. So it’s making fun of the City of Boulder — which is fine. But we just want to make sure nobody takes it seriously and sends us a check, or gets upset because we gave them a ticket. Because we didn’t leave this for them.”

It’s ironic that the city wants to reassure residents that they have no code mandating clean cracks, but don’t think twice about all of the other ordinances that require property owners to maintain their abodes and land in city-approved fashion.  Because they’re a joke as well, just not a very funny one.

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