Humor – The Libertarian Standard http://libertarianstandard.com Property - Prosperity - Peace Wed, 27 Apr 2016 06:16:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.5.3 A new website and group blog of radical Austro-libertarians, shining the light of reason on truth and justice. Humor – The Libertarian Standard clean Humor – The Libertarian Standard thelibertarianstandard@gmail.com thelibertarianstandard@gmail.com (Humor – The Libertarian Standard) CC-BY Property - Prosperity - Peace Humor – The Libertarian Standard http://libertarianstandard.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://libertarianstandard.com/category/humor/ TV-G Drop It Like It’s Hoppe (rap) http://libertarianstandard.com/2013/01/15/drop-it-like-its-hoppe-rap/ Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:19:41 +0000 http://libertarianstandard.com/?p=12288 Evan Isaac, Mark Ovdabeest, and Colin Porter have made a fun aprioristic rap song of Hoppe’s social views, Drop It Like It’s Hoppe (based on Snoop Dogg’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot” (lyrics)):

The lyrics are below. Ovdabeest is the same guy who made Black and Yellow: AnCap remix (based on this song):

Last time I (and Hoppe, and others in the Mises crowd) were lampooned like this was in Jason Ditz’s series of short movies: see The Koch Cycle: Anarcho-Pacificist Films Presents…

Drop It Like It’s Hoppe

Published on Jan 15, 2013
Written by Evan Isaac, Mark Ovdabeest, and Colin Porter
Performed by Mark Ovdabeest, as the characters of Stephan Kinsella and Hans Herman Hoppe

Lyrics:

(Chorus)
Empiricists in the crib, ma
Drop it like its Hoppe
Drop it like its Hoppe
Drop it like its Hoppe
When the reds try to get at ya
Park it like its Hoppe
Park it like its Hoppe
Park it like its Hoppe
And if a statist get an attitude
Pop it like its Hoppe
Pop it like its Hoppe
Pop it like its Hoppe
I got Mises on my shelf, a low time preference for wealth
And I roll argumentation ethics for the ownership of self

( Verse 1: Kinsella as Pharell)
I’m a nice dude, an attorney
My kid Ethan, does Montessori
See this IP, it’s not real property
It doesn’t suffer from any sort of scarcity
It’s just privilege to allow a monopoly
That ownership leads to intellectual poverty
An unintended consequence of governmental lobbying
I’m into freedom, go ahead and copy me
Killer with the beat, my wife works on Wall Street
Social order is best achievedwith a ruling natural elite
So don’t try to run up on my ear talking all that Marxist sh*t
I won’t be part of that sh*t
You made it worse, but you didn’t start that sh*t
You should think about it, take a second.
I don’t care what society you think you modeled
Aggress against me, your right to life is estoppled!

(Chorus)

(Verse 2: Hoppe as Snoop)
I’m an Austrian, but ya’ll knew that
And an anarchist, yea I had to do that
I keep the black-and-gold hanging out my backside
But only on the right side, yeah, that’s the cap side
…Ain’t no other way to deduce the way I deduce
I make my case from a priori truths
Two, One, yep, Three
Hans Herman H-O-double-P-E
I do philosophy well, like an ancient Greek
you’re way out of your league son, so to speak
Rights aren’t granted by Allah, Zeus, or Thor
Buddah or Krishna or any of his other forms
that we can argue shows that they’re accepted norms
to which the vast majority of us conform
So let the premise of the state be seen unveiled
Democracy is a god that fizzailed

(Chorus)

They say I’m right wing, Fetishizing race,
But I say it’s all the same to the marketplace,
I’m erudite, I don’t take sh*t,
Tripple H, yeah I’m rolling straight.
On the Vegas scene, stop the libertine,
sh*t that your dealin, cause I’m paleo and mean,
Oh you comin up to me, tryin to be rude,
can’t dig the culture, you get forcibly exclude,
You lose, High IQs,
I know my money, got them golden hues,
To the last cent, now we represent,
let me hear the voice, Sag es auf Deutsch
Moral consistency, same rights better be,
applicable to me, philosophy.
My a priori axioms solve the issue,
It’s Aristotle porn, I hope you brought a tissue

(Chorus)

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In Defense of Tattoo Freedom? http://libertarianstandard.com/2012/08/31/in-defense-of-tattoo-freedom/ http://libertarianstandard.com/2012/08/31/in-defense-of-tattoo-freedom/#comments Fri, 31 Aug 2012 23:48:38 +0000 http://libertarianstandard.com/?p=11646 The more I think about it, the less respect I have for the trite, and supposedly pragmatic, attack some people make on tattoos. It goes something like this: “How will that look when you’re 80?”

Basically, who gives a rat’s ass?

My suspicion is that by the time one gets to 80 years old, other areas of concern–like pooping regularly without help and figuring out whence that scratchy hair in strange places came–will dominate. You won’t be worried about whether or not your Celtic Cross still looks just as good as it used to!

The condition of your tats, and frankly, what anyone else thinks about how they look, won’t be in the Top 25 Things About Which to Worry. On top of that, let’s say you got that tattoo at 30. I submit that 50+ years of enjoyment ain’t too bad. Of course, YMMV.
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Mimi & Eunice: Permission http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/12/30/mimi-eunice-permission-2/ Fri, 30 Dec 2011 06:00:18 +0000 http://mimiandeunice.com/?p=2368 . . . → Read More: Permission]]>

Our pervasive permission culture.

~*~

This is a syndicated post, which originally appeared at Mimi and Eunice » IPView original post.

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Mimi & Eunice: Legal Fictions http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/12/03/mimi-eunice-legal-fictions/ Sat, 03 Dec 2011 06:45:18 +0000 http://mimiandeunice.com/?p=2110 . . . → Read More: Legal Fictions]]> Without copyright law, art would not exist! Without patent law, inventions would not exist! Without real estate law, land would not exist. Without marriage law, love would not exist.

Stupid, right? But I hear this argument for copyright law all the time.

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This is a syndicated post, which originally appeared at Mimi and Eunice » IPView original post.

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Land of the Free™ (Rules and Restrictions May Apply) http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/11/23/land-of-the-free/ Wed, 23 Nov 2011 22:18:09 +0000 http://libertarianstandard.com/?p=9666 From PokerNewsDaily.com I learn that the terrorists hate us so much for our freedoms, they are now preventing us from using their online poker rooms.

SwitchPoker.com, a small independent online poker room, became a trailblazer this week, becoming the first internet poker room to accept Bitcoin as a valid currency for both deposits and withdrawals.  Bitcoin is a unique currency, as it is purely virtual and does not require financial institutions to process transactions… It does not accept players from the United States.

What will the terrorists think of next?

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“Is” “water” “healthy”? http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/11/19/is-water-healthy/ Sat, 19 Nov 2011 16:09:30 +0000 http://libertarianstandard.com/?p=9586 Some more classificationism run amok in the UK:

The EU was ridiculed last night after it took three years to issue a new rule that water cannot be sold as healthy.

In a scarcely believable ­ruling, a panel of experts threw out a claim that regular water consumption is the best way to rehydrate the body.

The bizarre diktat from Brussels has far-reaching implications for member states, including Britain, as no water sold in the EU can now claim to protect against dehydration.

It reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of Yes, Minister, where British sausage-makers’ rights to produce “British sausage” are under attack.

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Mimi & Eunice: Commerce is Bad http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/11/15/mimi-eunice-commerce-is-bad/ Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:15:06 +0000 http://mimiandeunice.com/?p=1979 . . . → Read More: Commerce is Bad]]> [Not strictly IP-related, but still funny. — GAP]

someone is exploited

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This is a syndicated post, which originally appeared at Mimi and Eunice » IPView original post.

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Mimi & Eunice: Copy Animals http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/11/13/mimi-eunice-copy-animals/ Sun, 13 Nov 2011 23:45:37 +0000 http://mimiandeunice.com/?p=1991 . . . → Read More: Copy Animals]]> [Aristotle nods. — GAP]

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This is a syndicated post, which originally appeared at Mimi and Eunice » IPView original post.

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Mimi & Eunice: Patented Emotions http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/10/22/mimi-eunice-patented-emotions/ Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:30:19 +0000 http://mimiandeunice.com/?p=1985 . . . → Read More: Patented Emotions]]>

Update: Meir alerts us it’s been translated into Hebrew:

Patented Emotions: Hebrew

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This is a syndicated post, which originally appeared at Mimi and Eunice » IPView original post.

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Don’t These Uppity Negroes Ever Get Tired of Being Uppity? http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/10/20/dont-these-uppity-negroes-ever-get-tired-of-being-uppity/ http://libertarianstandard.com/2011/10/20/dont-these-uppity-negroes-ever-get-tired-of-being-uppity/#comments Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:14:42 +0000 http://libertarianstandard.com/?p=9344 I’ve written on the phenonenon before, most recently, while examining the trite hate-fest that pretends to be media coverage surrounding LeBron James. And frankly, I’ve found myself disagreeing with Bryant Gumbel on a number of salient points throughout these discussions. This time though, Gumbel is on-point. Recently he made these comments, regarding the NBA Lockout and how NBA Commissioner David Stern is handling it:

Stern’s version of what has been going on behind closed doors has of course been disputed, but his efforts were typical of a commissioner who has always seemed eager to be viewed as some kind of modern plantation overseer, treating NBA men as if they were his boys. It’s part of Stern’s M.O., like his past self-serving edicts on dress code and the questioning of officials. His moves were intended to do little more than show how he’s the one keeping the hired hands in their place.

His comments have drawn a lot of ire, much of it from black media members. (In full disclosure, I tend to discount white media member’s discomfort when a black person uses a supposed slavery analogy. Call it a personal failing.)  Try though I may, I can’t find what is incorrect about Gumbel’s statement.

It’s accurate, right down to Stern’s approach in handling “his” players. Apparently, invoking slavery–or seeming to invoke slavery–since Gumbel didn’t call the NBA players slaves, is a special case of Godwin’s Law. I get that too, but here’s the thing.  The fact that those who are under control are better paid is no reason to conclude that control is not taking place. (A similar analogy is applicable to the American State and its “freedoms.”) The amount of compensation doesn’t necessarily change the relationship between those under control and those who control them.  (It can however, and I’d be among the first to admit, make the control feel better!)

Sometimes, the plantation is in our minds. One of my idols, Carter G. Woodson, might suggest that this is often the case.  The walls surrounding this mental plantation were on full display during a recent “debate” I watched on ESPN. Asked if the players should start their own league, one of the commenters said “No!” He suggested that they should instead hold out and continue to fight the owners, hoping that they eventually receive–what this commenter thought–was appropriate compensation, or a “better deal” from the owners.

So, they’re not really on a plantation, i.e., they can leave and “do their own thing” whenever they like, but instead of doing that, they should debate with the overseers about how much cornmeal is enough? Damn. I’m forced to quote Woodson again:

When you control a man’s thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder. He will find his “proper place” and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door. He will go without being told. In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary. … History shows that it does not matter who is in power … those who have not learned to do for themselves and have to depend solely on others never obtain any more rights or privileges in the end than they had in the beginning.

Count me among those who hopes, desperately, that just this once, rich guys living in a mostly-free society tell their ostensible overseer to go jump in a lake, and use free enterprise to their own advantage. (They probably won’t—but a guy can dream, right?)

…cross-posted at LRC.

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